In the style of Widdecombe Fair*

Bill Cash, Bill Cash, please show me** you care,
All along, out along, from the EU
For I want to leave, but not in despair,
With Jacob Rees-Mogg, Peter Bone, Pauline Latham
Nadine Dorries, David Davies, Ken Clarke,
Old Uncle Steve Baker and all,
Old Uncle Steve Baker and all!

I can assure you that we’re leaving soon,
All along, down along, quit the EU,
By the end of October (or the next full moon),
With Bob Blackman, John Redwood, Tim Loughton,
Mark Francois, Andrew Brigden, John Hayes
Old Uncle Owen Paterson and all,
Old Uncle Owen Paterson and all.

Mr Corbyn, Mr Corbyn, lend me you support,
All along, out along, from the EU,
Let us reach agreement while I’m holding the fort,
With Kier Starmer, Tom Watson, Barry Gardiner
Diane Abbott, Richard Burgon, Nia Griffiths,
Old Uncle McDonnell and all,
Old Uncle McDonnell and all.

Ian Backford, Ian Backford, I know you want to stay,
All along, down along, in the EU,
But we will support you, within the UK,
With Joanna Cherry, Tommy Shepherd, Peter Grant,
Drew Hendry, Marion Fellows, Lisa Cameron
Old Uncle Pete Wishart and all,
Old Uncle Pete Wishart and all!

Nigel Dodds, Nigel Dodds, can we try once more,
All along, out along, from the EU,
We’ll offer you plenty, and then some more,
With Paul Girvan, Andrew Hunter, Jim Shannon,
Iris Robinson, Sammy Wilson, Ian Paisley,
Old Uncle Gavin Robinson and all,
Old Uncle Gavin Robinson and all.

Heidi Allen, Heidi Allen, I sure you must know,
All along, down along, out the EU,
It’s better if we agree that at last we must go,
With Chris Lesley, Anna Soubry, Angela Smith,
Mike Gapes, Sarah Woolaston, Ann Coffey,
And Chuka Amana and all,
And Chuka Amana and all.

* This adaptation deals with the need to agree on something or other. It is part of the Cornish folk custom known as Hobby Horse, which many of those named ride with varying degrees of sophistication.

** The song opens with one singer, but those characters named join in incrementally.